[Rebecca]

We choose inclusivity at Utilita – that’s why we’re proud to celebrate and stand alongside the LGBTQIA+ community during Pride Month and beyond!

Throughout June, we’ve been getting to know more about our LGBTQIA+ Inclusion & Diversity Group to gain a greater understanding of the challenges faced by the LGBTQIA+ community and how we can all become better allies.

Let’s meet the team…

Ashley (She/Her), Senior QA Engineer:

“I am Transgender Women who works as a Senior Quality Assurance Engineer in the IT Development Department at Utilita. I openly came out last year in January/February. I am a big fan of Fantasy and Sci-fi games, TV shows/Films and books, and I play Dungeons and Dragons with friends most weekends.

Harley (They/Them), Senior Revenue Protection Analyst:

“I’m Harley and I work in the Warrant Recovery team as a Senior Revenue Protection Analyst. I’ve been with the company for almost nine years. I’m both pansexual and trans non-binary, although I often just say I’m queer because it’s just much quicker and easier.”

Jayce (They/Them), Void Account Manager:

“My name is Jayce, and I am a Pansexual Enby! I work in the Void Account Management department and am very nerdy! Loving movies, comics, games and Dungeons and Dragons, while also a rock music enthusiast! I use all pronouns, but primarily They/Them.”

K T (They/Them), Postroom Assistant:

“My name is Kolin. T. Fry (feel free to call me Kolin, K T or even Fry!) I identify as Trans-Non-Binary and Queer. I have been working at Utilita for just over 3 years in the Post Room as part of Facilities. My second language is Japanese which doesn’t particularly use pronouns (as is the case with lots of East Asian languages) so, I’m not really that fussed. But if you’re stuck for choice – They/Them

Nic (He/Him), Director of Brand Marketing:

“I’m Nic, the Director of Brand Marketing at Utilita. I’m responsible for the overall brand, design, and marketing strategy for the business, managing the development and consistency of our creative vision across products, campaigns, and projects. I’m a huge fan of Star Wars and anything Nintendo related!”

Sam (He/Him), Void Account Manager:

“My name is Sam, and I am bisexual and transmasculine! I am a Void Account Manager and I enjoy cosplay, video games, and music! I use he/him pronouns, though I am also okay with they/them pronouns.”

Can you tell us a little about your coming out journey?

Nic:
“The first step in my journey was self-acceptance. It took a long time (and many struggles from a young age), but I was fortunate enough to have a support network that gave me a sense of belonging and the strength to embrace who I am. I had a huge amount of anxiety choosing the right time to do it. I plucked up the courage at 16 years old to tell my mum (by pouring her a large glass of red wine) – again, I was incredibly lucky that she made me feel so comfortable and all the worry washed away.

K T:
“I’ve come out several times as my journey has progressed, and I more recently settled on Queer as it’s more inclusive of my non-binary gender identity.
I have tried for many years to accept that I don’t fit into a binary identity – it’s still very hard sometimes. As humans we are wired to categorise and find where we fit, when you don’t have a way to describe yourself it can be very isolating and confusing. I continue to grow and learn about myself the more the years go by, and I hope to never stop.”

Ashley:
“My therapist played a big role in helping me to learn to accept myself and embrace the thoughts that I had been repressing for so long - I am not sure where I would be right now without her help. She even helped me to build the confidence I needed to tell friends and family, which was still hard to do, but likely I would never have done on my own.”

Sam:
I have come out several times - first as bisexual when I was 14. It garnered quite a bit of attention at school - suddenly people I'd never spoken to at all were interested - but that lasted for all of a day before talk moved on, as it does.
I came out several times later on regarding my gender - first as agender, then as genderfluid, before finally coming out as a trans man. Overall, while there have been some difficulties among coming out to family members, my friends have always been accepting.

Jayce:
“It's been a rollercoaster honestly! From coming out as Pansexual back in 2013 when I was 12, to my gender identity changing a few times over the years as I grow more comfortable with certain labels.”

Harley:
“As someone who is pansexual and non-binary, it’s been quite a multi-routed journey. My sexual orientation coming out journey was a lot easier (and shorter) than my gender one. I initially came out as bisexual when I was 15, but once I learned the term “pansexual” in my early 20s I identified with that more.

My gender identity journey is arguably still ongoing. As someone who is often perceived as a binary gender, it feels like every interaction with a new person is its own coming-out story and with gender being such a hot topic at the moment (often for all the wrong reasons), I still struggle with being assertive about my identity and still struggle with a lot of internal resentment being this way. Anyone who thinks or says being trans or gender non-confirming is a choice – trust me, it’s really not. I’ve tried convincing, coercing, ignoring and trying to convince myself I was either a cis woman or (when that didn’t work) that I was maybe a trans man. It’s still an ongoing process but I am certain I am neither.”

Have you faced any challenges being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and do you have any advice that could help with these challenges in future?

Sam:
“I don't think there’s any member of the community that hasn't faced challenges if I'm honest. Sometimes if you're looking in the wrong places it can feel as if the entire world is against you, even though that isn't the case. My advice would be to find those who love and accept you for who you are and to keep those people close.”

Jayce:
“Challenges are common for us in the community, and I've faced my fair share over the years from physical to mental. My advice would be to find a good network of friends within the community as they will always have your back.”

K T:
“I never thought I would have so many conversations and such anxiety about toilets. I have used the toilet for the sex I was assigned at birth but, I still get dirty looks and people commenting I am in the wrong bathroom because I am an androgynous person. I don’t know where I’m meant to go anymore despite following the rules that Cisgendered people ask of me. All I want to do is use the toilet in peace just like everyone else. My advice is if no one is harming anyone else, please just go about your business.”

Nic:
“The LGBTQ+ community faces various challenges, both on an individual and systemic level – sadly, I have faced these myself too. From a young age, I regularly faced discrimination, prejudice, and stigma due to my sexuality. This led to internalized homophobia and fear of rejection from loved ones and new relationships. Self-acceptance has been a lifelong journey for me, with many ups and downs. My advice to people who share these emotions is to be patient with yourself and treat self-acceptance as an ongoing practice. Embrace your uniqueness, cultivate self-love, and surround yourself with positive influences who appreciate you for who you are.

Ashley:
I think the biggest problem I have experienced is the challenge to be seen by the GIC (Gender Identity Clinic) and to get GP’s to, at the very least, look at the medication I receive from GenderGP currently. I believe that supporting groups like Stonewall and our individual/collective efforts as community to raise awareness and push for change will have an effect on the kind of care available to the LGBTQIA+ community and how accessible it will be for future generations.”

Harley:
“I face a lot of challenges, often on a daily basis. Some are as small as someone getting pronouns wrong by accident, others are as big as the government essentially deciding that my dignity and rights are too inconvenient to consider making legislation changes to allow me to be legally recognised. My best advice – avoid Twitter like the plague. I don’t use social media for the sake of my sanity. Other advice I would give (at the risk of being a hypocrite) is to be kind to yourself. You can’t change who and what you are, no matter how much external or internal forces might try to tell you otherwise but also, you don’t have to have all the answers immediately. Anyone who tries to decide what and who they want to be is doomed to succeed and then never grow beyond that.”

What is it like being a part of our LGBTQIA+ I&D group?

Nic:
“It has provided a safe and inclusive space where we can find support and understanding from others who share similar experiences, challenges, and identities. Personally, I have learned from the richness of the diverse perspectives and provided a platform for me to contribute to positive change with our collective voice.”

Ashley:
“I find it fun and rewarding and it’s always nice when we catch up as a group. Everyone is friendly and we even find a way to have a nice chat while we are busy planning the creation of content. It’s also lovely to hear feedback from colleagues in the business who really enjoyed reading the content that we have put out or whether they felt like they were heard and understood.”

Jayce:
“It's incredibly interesting honestly! Being able to experience the community even in the workplace and discuss important topics makes me feel more accepted at Utilita.”

Sam:
“It feels amazing to have a group of people that I feel really do understand LGBTQIA+ issues within Utilita, and it's great to be actively included in discussions and changes that affect us.”

K T:
“Having a supporting community is really important to me and I strongly believe that when we are seen and heard authentically, we are able to thrive within the workplace and outside of it too. Being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community does not mean I automatically know everything about it, I have had to learn just like everyone else what identities mean, what the flags represent and how to speak respectfully to those who identify different to me. Joining the I&D group has been a step to continue to make sure I can represent myself and those around me, and is important that others know they are just as accepted within the business as anyone else.

Harley:
“It’s good. Sometimes it can be difficult to make meetings or contribute as much as I’d like due to work commitments; however, it’s nice to have a group of people to discuss all things LGBTQIA+ completely openly. It would be great to have more people with diverse backgrounds to join. Even if people aren’t sure about it, I’d still recommend giving it a try!”

How can everyone better support or become an ally for the LGBTQIA+ community?

Harley:
“Just by being kind and excellent to each other. If you don’t understand or don’t agree with something, ask in a respectful, curious way. Don’t assume you know someone better than they know themselves. Try not to make assumptions about other people. Lead by example – something as simple as offering your pronouns first when meeting someone can be so powerful. It’s more than just getting the right pronouns, it tells the other person that you’re more likely to be safe and trustworthy – you’ll likely get a lot more from them as a person in response.”

Ashley:
“Stonewall is a great group to support with donations as they are helping to drive legal changes that would benefit many LGBTQIA+ persons within the UK. They will even keep you up to date with current events in LGBTQIA+ space.

Jayce:
“Listen to and accept us. We are all human just trying to live happy lives, and discrimination does no one any good when the world has other problems in need of tackling. You don't have to like us, but don't be cruel or afraid. Just be kind to one another, treat others how you wish to be treated.”

K T:
“If someone tells you they would like to try a new name or try new pronouns, you can support by using someone’s preferred name and pronouns. Even if it is hard and you make mistakes, that’s ok – just correct yourself and move on. No big deal! It shows that you’re trying and that will mean more than making a big thing out of it. That person has trusted you with something very important to them and it will take time to change something you may not be used to. Be kind to others but also yourselves.”

Nic:
“Take the initiative to listen to the experiences and stories of LGBTQ+ individuals without judgment or defensiveness. Be open to learning from their perspectives and acknowledge that you may not have all the answers. It requires humility, empathy, and an openness to continuously challenging your own biases.”

Sam:
“Listen and learn and keep an open mind. One of the things I live by is even if I don't understand something entirely (which can be common, as more words are being coined for people to name their experiences and identities), to listen and respect it anyway. Even if something doesn't make sense to you, it can be incredibly important to another person - and at the end of the day, we all just want to be respected and to live our own lives as true to who we are.”

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎🤍

Thank you for celebrating Pride Month with us – together, as allies, we can build an inclusive society that values and embraces diversity.

To find out what Pride means to us and why we think it’s important to celebrate, read more here. Or if you’re looking for support to help on your LGBTQIA+ journey, find plenty of resources from Stonewall.

Happy Pride Month.